Maturity

Yesterday's circle (a weekly talk on the spiritual life) at the Opus Dei was very useful. It was titled 'Forging the Character: educating the sentiments'. Maturity is what we call the harmonic set of many virtues - many virtues in the right balance, complementing each other. It is the optimum, the goal we should endeavour after.

We sometimes tend to think that our characters are static - we're born this way and there's nothing we can do about it. But that's not true. Our temperaments are inherited, physiological, organic. But our character is free and conscious. It is the set of virtues that we build on top of our temperament - and we can mould it.


Pablo, who gives our circle, gave us some points on maturity which we could use to examine ourselves.

1. A right balance between reason and affectivity, i.e. between the head and the heart. There must be a combination of both, but the final decision should be measured against reason. Feelings are important - they can be likened to a water current upon which our boat is travelling. Many times, our feelings lead us where we should go. But there are times when they pull in the wrong direction, and these are occasions when we must decide to not rely on the current, but row against it.

2. Unity of freedom and responsibility. Everything we do must be done freely. We're not forced to behave in any way. People might advice us, the Church might tell us what is right and wrong. But in the end we must do it because we want to: 'I will do the right thing because that's my decision, because it's my responsibility to do the right thing.'

3. Education of the imagination. Where is my head? Is it in the clouds? Am I living in a fantasy? We need imagination - to be creative in our work, to enrich our prayer life (imagining the scenes of the Gospels, the Rosary, etc), but imagination cannot predominate. We must live in the present, real world. It is here that we must struggle and it is here that we can be victorious.

4. Education of the impulses. Learn to master our reactions. Don't react wildly to good or bad news. Act without rushing, but also without excessive fear.

5. Acceptance of one's reality. Know that we have defects and that we make mistakes. And also be able to ask for forgiveness. The ability to sincerely ask for forgiveness is a great sign of maturity. We must also be able to accept the mistakes of other people.

6. Coherence and integrity. Do not change your behaviour and principles depending on which crowd you are in. Do not be so attentive to what other people think that you engage in pretences just to fit in. Have your own principles, try to explain and transmit them to those around you. 'I am one and the same, no matter where I am.' Our Lord was the same person with the disciples, with the crowds, on the cross.


A tough list! But we were reminded that we can rely on grace. And it's reassuring to know that absolutely everything serves God's plan. If we have a certain temperament, or we've been exposed to certain circumstances, these are in God's plan. In fact difficulties, and suffering, builds character and are opportunities to test our virtues. If we are docile and generous, we can develop all the virtues necessary to the kind of person that Jesus Christ was - a person of great character.