Fraternal Rivalry

A Jesuit who jumped out of a plane by parachute had himself stuck on a tree.

Along came a man who exclaimed "Your parachute is stuck in a tree!"

You must be a Dominican, the Jesuit said.

Yes indeed, how do you know? replied the Dominican.

Well, that's because what you said was true, but also completely useless!

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A man dearly wanted a Ferrari and thus he went to a Franciscan Friar to ask him to pray that he gets it.

Fr. could you pray that I get a Ferrari? he asked.

Being a simple man, the Friar responded. "My Son, What's a Ferrari?"

The man replied, "well its a very sexy and expensive car!

Hmmm... said the Franciscan, I don't think I can do that but I will make a novena for God's will to be done.

Not entirely satisfied, he next approached a Carmelite nun.

Sister, can you pray that i get a Ferrari?

Being a simple woman, the Carmelite nun replied "my child , what's a Ferrari?"

The man, slightly perturbed gave the same reply, "well its a very sexy and expensive car!

Slightly troubled, the Carmelite nun replied, well I don't think I can pray for that but I will make a Novena for you that God's will be done.

Feeling increasingly disastisfied, the man approached a Jesuit. "Well, Fr. i went to the Franciscan friar and the Carmelite nun asking them to pray that i get a Ferrari but they offered novenas for me that God's will be done, what can you do about it?

The Jesuit, with a puzzled expression replied "What's a Novena?"

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A Greek Orthodox, and Evangelical, and a Jesuit are doing an archaeological dig in Jerusalem. They come across a Tomb that says, in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, "Here lies Jesus of Nazareth, who claimed he was King of the Jews, and was executed at Passover under Pontius Pilate".

Excited by the find, they open the tomb, only to be horrified to find a crucified body.

"Oh my goodness," says the Orthodox. "The Church and all the good it does is based on a false event."

"Oh my goodness," says the Evangelical. "The Bible, which has guided by entire life, is nothing but a lie."

"Oh my goodness," says the Jesuit. "There really was a Jesus."