Gentlemen, welcome to your first training session for Operation Charm and Awe. Please pay close attention as there have been some major changes in the way we will be conducting combat ops in the immediate future. On direct orders from the Commander-in-Chief himself, I am here today to brief you on the latest in weapons technology. Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the MM-350.
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Sir, I was just reading a bit from the manual and have a couple questions about the list of phrases we are to use when engaging the enemy.
Go on.
Okay, like this one, “Kindly point that Surface-to-Air Missile away from my head. While I understand and respect that assertiveness is considered a very desirable characteristic among males in your culture, you are making me slightly uncomfortable. I merely want to take a few minutes to apologize for America’s egregious history of raping and pillaging the world community.“
Was there a question, soldier?
Yes. After he blows my head off, will it be considered a combat death even though I wasn’t actually holding a weapon, just a tricked out Mr. Microphone?
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