"Uh Dad"

I like Matthew Archbold's posts about his family. They're hilarious. Here's his latest:

I walked into the kitchen to get the phone and saw what I first thought was a pretty impressive pile of garbage teetering above the garbage can. But as I got closer I saw that it was much more than impressive. It was miraculous. The can was full and the children, instead of just getting a new bag or even just asking me to get a new bag, had precariously perched a heap of garbage at least two feet above the rim of the can in a way that science couldn't explain. I considered calling Architectural Digest but figured they'd treat me as rudely as the Guinness people did when I called them about the purple stuff in my baby's diaper. (She really hadn't eaten anything purple)

...

It's 3:45 and I can see the buildings of the hospital over the trees. I'm congratulating myself silently for my excellent abilities to respond to a crisis when my nine year old says, "Uh, Dad."

This is the kind of "Uh Dad" that precedes something she finds funny and I'll find not so funny. I look in the rear view and she's raising her eyebrows in a comical way. And then she drops the hammer. "Uh, I just noticed there's a little snow on the ground and that's why I'm thinking it might be helpful if the boy had shoes."

(Reminder: talk to the nine year old about time and place for sarcasm)

"Uh, boy. Do you have your shoes on?"

? (Insert silence here)

"Where are your shoes?" I ask.

"I put them away," he cleverly retorted.

"Where?"

"In the closet," he says.

Now, to be clear he's looking at me as if he deserves congratulations for putting his shoes away for the first time in his life. The girls in the back seat are guffawing, clapping and asking the boy if he thinks he's Mowgli from The Jungle Book while I'm bending the steering wheel.

Read the whole adventure here