On the dear leaders

The Onion News Network certainly has an off-beat sense of humour:

Obama and Biden on the Issues:

Healthcare

Barack Obama

Promises to reduce cost of health care by demanding private insurance companies stop liking astronomical profits

Joe Biden

Proposes health care punch card system that would make your fifth visit to the emergency room free.

Abortion

Barack Obama

Did some crazy shit in the '80's, not going to lie.

Joe Biden

Supports abortion, but only in cases when political life is in danger.

Economy

Barack Obama

Will cut taxes, but occasionally hit up Oprah on behalf of treasury.

Joe Biden

Makes his own contribution by investing heavily in teeth-whitening toothpaste.

And their profiles:

Barack Obama

Key Senate Achievement:
Being elected to Senate after Iraq War already started

Favorite Way To Mollify Supporters:
Nodding solemnly while gripping podium

Political Experience:
(2005–) Junior Senator from Illinois. Working directly under Senior Senator Richard Durbin himself, duties included fact-checking and copyediting the 2006 highway appropriations amendment bill. Member, Illinois State Senate (1997-2004)

Odds Of Pop-Locking During Inauguration:
1 in 12

Personal Best For Getting Digits:
32 seconds

Difficulty Catching A Cab:
Moderate

Issues:
Pro-hopes, also supports dreams

People Who Have Influenced Him Most:
Handsome devil who greets him in the mirror every morning

Joe Biden

Political And Influential Reach:
So great that no fewer than 18 states think that he is their senator

Political Drawback:
Always speaks his mind, a sometimes risky proposition since suffering aneurysm in 1998.

Biggest Vulnerability:
By now, media attention may startle him

If You Click "Meet Joe Biden" Link On barackobama.com:
Joe Biden appears at your door within 3 hours

Best Kept Secret:
This ultimate Beltway Insider has actually spent long periods of time living inside senators such as Ted Kennedy and Orin Hatch in mutually beneficial symbiotic relationships

Haha they seem particularly cruel to Biden. :p

More:
Obama Inauguration Speech Ruined By Incessant Jackhammering

Hillary Clinton Mouthing Along To Presidential Oath